Managing People as Engineering Manager: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I stepped into people management without much choice. Before 2017, I had been working as a lead engineer in a large engineering organization. That role required me to lead initiatives and work alongside a talented group of engineers, as a peer, but never as their manager. Until then, I thought people management was better suited for someone with a B-school degree, while I saw myself writing code as an individual contributor until I retired from the profession! Little did I know that, in less than a year, I would be managing a small team of three engineers at my own startup.

It has been a little over seven years since I made the first engineering hire and officially became a reporting manager. The journey so far has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my career.

Initial Days

“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.” – Ronald Reagan

Like many engineers transitioning to the manager track, I faced my fair share of struggles. Here are some misconceptions I held in the initial phase of my journey as a people manager, which were quickly disproven as I continued on this path.

1. Leading by Example: I believed that as an engineering leader, I needed to be the hardest worker in the room, write the most lines of code, and produce the maximum output. I thought this was the way to inspire others through "leading by example."
2. Having All the Answers: I felt that I needed to have all the answers every time the team faced a challenge to "earn their respect."
3. Feedback as Criticism: I assumed that if I provided constructive feedback to one of my team members, they would consider it criticism. Therefore, I decided to give feedback "only" if it was positive.
4. Automatic Respect: I believed I automatically "deserved" respect from every engineer in the team, simply because I was their reporting manager on paper.

These notions, among others, have been disproven through my humbling journey as an engineering leader over the last seven years, particularly during my time at HackerRank. In this post, I will discuss various aspects of people management as an engineering manager—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

“The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” – Ralph Nader

1. Positive Impact on Team Members: One of the most rewarding aspects of being an EM is the positive impact you can have on your team members. By providing guidance, mentorship, and support, you help them grow both professionally and personally. Your role as a manager enables you to create an environment where team members feel valued, motivated, and empowered to achieve their best.
2. Success Stories: Success stories are the highlights of any engineering manager's journey. These are the moments when your team's hard work and collaboration lead to significant achievements. I have seen over and over again in my career where junior and senior engineers come together, work side by side to launch a product successfully. Instilling a “One Team” mindset fosters a strong sense of camaraderie and shared purpose.
3. Skills Development: As an EM, you also experience significant personal and professional growth. The role challenges you to develop a diverse skill set beyond your technical expertise. I have personally learned effective communication, conflict resolution, and strategic thinking on the job. These skills are invaluable, not just in the current role but throughout the career.

The Bad

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” – Lao Tzu

1. Managing Conflicts in a High Stress Situation: Managing conflicts is an inevitable part of being an engineering manager, especially in high-stress situations. Whether it’s a tight deadline, a critical bug, or differing opinions on project direction, conflicts can arise and escalate quickly. When you bring together a group of talented individuals to build complex software under a looming deadline, you, as an EM, often need to play the roles of mediator, facilitator, and mentor simultaneously. This involves active listening, understanding different perspectives, and finding common ground. The goal is to de-escalate tension and guide the team toward a collaborative solution, ensuring that stress does not derail productivity or team bonding.
2. Personal Mistakes: Every manager makes mistakes, especially in the early stages of their career. These mistakes can range from misjudging the capabilities of team members to failing to communicate effectively. Reflecting on these errors is crucial for growth. For instance, I have repeatedly adjusted my 1:1 cadence and format with my directs throughout my career. I actively sought feedback from my team on how I could provide more value in those meetings—whether a 30-minute or 60-minute meeting, weekly or bi-weekly. Acknowledging and learning from personal mistakes not only makes you a better manager but also sets an example for your team about the importance of continuous improvement and humility.
3. Being in Middle Management: Middle management often comes with its own set of challenges. You find yourself balancing the expectations and demands of upper management while advocating for your team’s needs and well-being. This can create a pressure-cooker environment where you need to navigate office politics, prioritize competing interests, and manage up as well as down. The key is to develop strong negotiation and communication skills, maintain transparency with your team, and manage expectations effectively.

The Ugly

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” – Bill Gates

1. Letting Go of Someone: One of the most difficult responsibilities of an engineering manager is making the decision to let someone go. This process is brutal, emotionally taxing, and can significantly impact team morale. Whether due to performance issues, restructuring, or other reasons, terminating an employee is probably one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make. This warrants a post of its own that I plan to write about in the future. It is essential to handle the situation with empathy, respect, and professionalism. Clear communication is crucial—explaining the reasons for the decision and providing support for the transition can help mitigate the impact. As a manager, you must also consider the effects on the remaining team members and work to maintain trust and stability within the group.
2. Emotional Toll: The role of an engineering manager comes with significant emotional demands. Balancing the needs and well-being of your team, meeting project deadlines, and navigating conflicts can lead to high levels of stress and burnout. It’s important to recognize the emotional toll this can take and to develop strategies for managing it. Self-care, seeking support from peers or mentors, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance are essential. To sustain long-term effectiveness and my own well-being, I have actively sought help from my managers and peers and taken paid time off when needed.
3. Learning from Failure: Failure is an inevitable part of any career, and as an engineering manager, how you handle failure can define your leadership. When leading a project and a team, the buck stops with the EM. Whether it’s a failed project, a missed deadline, or a misjudgment in managing team dynamics, failures provide valuable learning opportunities. Sharing these experiences with your team can foster a culture of transparency and continuous improvement. It also demonstrates that failure is not the end but rather a stepping stone to greater success.

Conclusion

Being an engineering manager is a journey filled with highs and lows, challenges and triumphs. As I reflect on my journey over the past seven years, I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into the leader I am today. Each challenge has been a lesson, and each success a testament to the power of effective people management. I hope that sharing these insights will help other aspiring or current engineering managers navigate their own paths with greater clarity and confidence. The road may be tough, but the rewards of being an engineering manager are well worth the effort.